How to set the right curfew for your teen

As your teen grows more independent, a curfew becomes less about control and more about building trust and responsibility. But how do you set a curfew that keeps them safe and sets realistic expectations, without constant pushback? Our guide makes it easier.

Why curfews matter

Curfews can mean a lot more than getting teens home by a certain time. Curfews also teach time management, build accountability, and promote safety. For teens, knowing there are expectations around when to be home can help them learn how to plan, prioritize, and communicate. For parents, curfews offer peace of mind and an opportunity to reinforce boundaries constructively.

Setting a curfew also opens up important conversations about safety, social dynamics, and trust. These moments can turn into teachable opportunities about decision-making and personal responsibility.

Consider their age and maturity

Every teen is different, so you don’t have to use a one-size-fits-all approach. While local laws or city ordinances may set guidelines, especially for driving teens, it’s your job to customize from there. Think about their school load, extracurriculars, and how well they manage their time overall.

Sample curfews by age:

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• 13-14: 8:30–9:30 p.m. on school nights; 10:30 p.m. on weekends

• 15-16: 9:30–10:30 p.m. on school nights; 11:00 p.m. on weekends

• 17+: 10:30–11:30 p.m. on school nights; midnight or later on weekends

These are flexible starting points. If a teenager shows responsibility and good judgment, some parents might consider awarding later curfews. On the other hand, if they struggle to follow through on commitments or communication, it might make sense to dial things back.

Talk about the why

To start a conversation, ask questions like:

• “What time feels fair to you?”

• “How can we build a curfew that works for both of us?”

• “What should happen if the curfew isn’t followed?”

Ultimately, it’s a parent’s decision. But getting your teenager’s input encourages ownership and helps minimize power struggles. It also opens the door for mutual respect. When teens feel heard, they’re more likely to meet expectations and communicate openly.

Make expectations clear

Once you agree on a curfew, put it in writing or repeat it together often to avoid "I forgot" or "You never told me that" moments. Be clear about:

• The set time for weekdays vs. weekends

• How to check in (call, text, or location sharing)

• What happens if they’re late

Clarity is key here. Teens are navigating growing freedom and responsibilities, so being specific helps avoid confusion. 

Build in flexibility

Life happens. Whether it's a school dance, a team celebration, or a delayed ride, your teen’s schedule won’t always follow the rules. Create space for the occasional exception with a plan:

• Ask for extra time before curfew

• Communicate delays promptly

• Avoid making exceptions the norm

When teens feel like they have some control, they’re more likely to stick to the standard. Flexibility also reinforces the idea that trust is a two-way street. The more they show they can handle responsibility, the more trust they earn.

Consequences and consistency

If a rule is broken, follow through with the agreed-upon consequence. But focus on teaching, not punishing. The goal isn’t to shame or scold, but to help your teen reflect and do better next time.

Try this instead of grounding:

• Shorten the curfew for a week

• Add an extra chore

• Require earlier check-ins next time out

When consequences are predictable and fair, teens are less likely to push back. Consistency helps set expectations and reinforces that your household has clear boundaries that are respected.

With Greenlight, you can assign chores, set rewards, and give your child real-world earning experience. It’s a win-win for busy families and growing kids alike.

Know your state laws

Some cities and states have curfew laws for minors. For example, many places restrict teens under 17 from being out past 11 p.m. on weekdays. These laws can differ significantly based on location, so check your local government or school district's website.

Knowing the law not only helps you set appropriate limits, but also teaches your teen the value of respecting legal boundaries as part of becoming a responsible adult.

Ready to create your curfew plan?

Here’s a quick checklist to get started:

• Talk with your teen about what feels fair

• Set age-appropriate timeframes

• Discuss how and when to check in

• Outline the consequences upfront

• Review and revise often

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This blog post is provided "as is" and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional advice. Some content in this post may have been created using artificial intelligence; however, every blog post is reviewed by at least two human editors.

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