How to foster healthy family relationships

People talk a lot about starting a family, but it’s rare to hear people mention building and maintaining strong family relationships. So, what does it mean to create healthy family relationships, and how do you do it? 

Building healthy family relationships is a little like growing a garden. If you nurture it well, it will bear fruit. Solid family bonds benefit both kids and adults. Fostering strong family relationships requires intentional focus and effort. Keep reading to learn about the most important characteristics of a healthy family relationship and how to nurture these strong bonds in your own home. 

Benefits of family bonds and positive relationships

Family matters. Your family shaped the person you've become, just as the family you lead will shape who your kids are. Healthy relationships with family are beneficial for all involved. Here are some of the ways that strong family bonds can benefit your kids.

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• Better academic outcomes: Family engagement is associated with more positive student outcomes. In other words, students who have families that are interested and involved do better than those who do not. Likewise, they have fewer disciplinary issues in school and higher levels of achievement.

• Fewer risky behaviors: The kids of engaged parents practice fewer risky health behaviors like underage drinking, drug use, or smoking. On the flip side, good family participation can increase positive behaviors like physical activity. 

Characteristics of healthy families and tips to foster them

The following are characteristics of a healthy family life, along with practical tips to help you build the best support structure possible so your family can experience the benefits of healthy family relationships. 

Family commitment and support

People who feel a sense of love and support from their family members demonstrate a greater sense of self-worth. The reasons aren't complicated. When the people you know best and see most often think and speak well of you, it helps build a positive self-image. Likewise, trust is built on consistency, so when you commit to regularly spending time together as a family, you create the context for deeper, more trusting relationships. 

Commit to a routine time every week when your family can get away from your various responsibilities and spend time doing an activity you all enjoy, like going for a hike or playing a board game. When you do, you give your family the time and space necessary to build mutual support and shared commitment to one another. 

Constructive communication and trust

The way your family talks to each other and about one another is important. Families with solid bonds create healthy environments where words are used intentionally. Barking orders at your kids or being overly critical may create less-than-ideal family dynamics like avoidance, anger, or apathy. Conversely, you can build trust through positive, constructive communication. 

Be conscious and intentional with your words to build better communication habits with your entire family. Avoid negative communication styles like criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling. Remember, building trust takes time, so don't fret if it takes a while. Avoiding "you" statements in favor of "I feel" phrases in your criticisms, remaining empathic, and staying engaged in the relationship all contribute to better communication and trust. 

Empathy and appreciation for one another

Most members of your family likely want to be seen, even if they don't act like it. In other words, people want to be understood and loved for who they are. When you practice empathy, you assume another person's perspective so that you can appreciate what an experience might be like for them. Seeing a situation through someone else's eyes gives you a new perspective on the situation or issue at hand. 

Slowing down and empathizing with your kids shows them that their world matters to you. Hearing their thoughts and trying to take on their perspective as your own also shows them that you care about their views, feelings, and experiences. So next time you're tempted to solve your child’s problem, try walking in their shoes for a minute so you better understand what they're going through. 

Respect and boundaries

Respect and boundaries go hand in hand. When you respect the other members of your family, you recognize the boundaries they have set up to protect their own needs. If your mother-in-law continues to drop in, causing you undue stress, a polite conversation about the need for boundaries may be in order. When you set up boundaries, you are letting your family know about your own needs. Building healthy family relationships may require you to set up some boundaries of your own, even as you respect those set up by others. 

Of course, it takes two to tango. You must clearly articulate your own boundaries and be willing to recognize and respect the boundaries set up by the rest of your family. This process of clear and open communication can make all the difference in starting healthier family traditions. 

Family connections and shared quality time

Learning how to best connect with your family takes time. It's not enough to simply be near one another, scrolling through social media or watching TV from the couch. Genuine family connections take shared quality time; think of traditional family dinners where everyone gathers together to share a meal and talk about their day. Again, intentionality is key. You can't just hope your family finds time to spend together. You have to make it happen. 

If you don't know where to start, check out this list of family bonding activities from Greenlight® that can help families stay connected. It doesn't really matter whether your crew likes to hike or play board games. There's something for everyone to enjoy. If they're old enough, include the kids in planning your shared family times and routines. Looping them into the decision-making process teaches them the value of collaboration and often leads to better buy-in. This is especially the case for blended families but holds true across the board. 

Unlock the resources you need to build a strong family

Building strong relationships in your family unit might be the most important gift you give to your kids because the benefits can last for a lifetime. But nothing worth having comes without effort. If you want a hand tightening those family ties, Greenlight is here to help. You can find tons of tools and unique resources in the Greenlight Learning Center to help you build a strong family unit according to your own family's values.