How to balance school and work: Tips for families

When your teen brings up getting a job, you may feel a mix of emotions. You’re proud they want to take on more responsibility, but you might also worry how it’s all going to fit: school, homework, sports, friends, and now work, too.

Balancing it all isn’t easy, but the experience can be a huge opportunity. With the proper support, teens can pick up real-world skills like managing their time, handling money, and learning what responsibility really looks like. To help, we spoke with two experts who work with teens and families every day.

Why teens feel pressure to work

For many teens, taking on a job isn’t just about pocket money. Sometimes it’s about helping the family, preparing for college costs, or simply keeping up with friends who seem to have the latest clothes, phones, or even cars. “Some teens feel pressure to work while in school because of the exceptionally high cost of college or future training past high school," says Marianne Breneman, board certified coach and Family Life Coaching Association certified expert. The pressure might be internal (not wanting to burden parents) or there may be a family expectation of contribution. "Some kids also want to work because they want things that their parents can’t or won’t buy for them: clothes, a car, electronics, etc.” But Breneman warns that working too much can take away from the very things teens need most: keeping up with school and building friendships.

Melina Alden, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, adds that motivations vary, but they often tie back to independence.  “There’s a social or personal drive such as wanting independence, keeping up with peers, or feeling the need to ‘grow up fast,’” she says.

When families understand why their teen wants to work, it becomes easier to guide them toward healthy boundaries.

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How parents can help teens manage their time

Trying to balance homework, practices, and a job can feel overwhelming, especially if no one is keeping track of the big picture. Breneman recommends bringing everyone to the table with a calendar. “I advise parents to sit down with the teen and a calendar and map out all the things the kid is doing, including time in school, extracurriculars, homework, social life, family time, and necessary sleep,” she says. “A teen needs 8-9 hours of sleep per night, so that absolutely has to be factored in.”

She points out that agreements about work hours should always be flexible. If a teen is struggling, it’s a sign to pull back.

Alden encourages parents to focus on how they talk about balance. “Parents can play a big role in helping their teens balance their work and school worlds by having open and honest conversations about expectations and priorities, to help and encourage them to create a manageable schedule, and to help them learn and gather stress-relieving tools such as mindfulness and exercise," says Alden. "Most importantly, keeping communication non-judgmental.”

The more collaborative the process, the more likely teens will feel supported instead of pressured.

Skills teens gain from working

While balance takes effort, the rewards can be long-lasting. Breneman encourages her clients to work when the timing makes sense. “Having a job as a teen helps kids learn how to work with an adult boss, how to interact with coworkers of all ages, how to communicate with customers (some of whom might not be the nicest or easiest!), how to plan their time more efficiently, and how to be responsible,” she says.

Earning their own paycheck also gives teens a firsthand lesson in budgeting and a better understanding of how far a dollar really stretches.

Alden sees work as a way for teens to test-drive their future. “When teens work while also being in school, they have the opportunity to earn money and build important life skills such as time management, responsibility and reliability, communication skills, financial literacy, and emotional awareness,” she says. “Also, importantly, an opportunity to explore their future career and what they like or dislike.”

Even if the job is short-term, the skills teens gain can carry into college, internships, and full-time careers.

Warning signs of overload

Not every teen will be able to manage school and work at the same time. Parents should watch closely for the early signs of burnout. Breneman says it usually shows up in behavior and energy. “They will seem overwhelmed or irritable, their work quality will slip, they will stay up too late, and they may seem anxious or like they aren’t having fun,” she explains. “The key is to not let it get to this point by planning ahead and being realistic about what they can handle.”

Her advice is to start small with work hours and build from there, instead of letting teens pile on too much at once.

Alden agrees that the red flags can be easy to spot if you know what to look for. “A change in mood such as irritability or increased anxiety, physical signs such as new headaches or stomach/GI issues, social signs such as withdrawing from friends or skipping class/worsening grades,” she says. “Most importantly, if you notice a distinct change or shift in your own teen, get curious about it.”

Asking open questions helps teens feel understood, not judged, and makes it easier for them to open up about what’s really going on.

Keeping communication open

The families that handle school-and-work balance best are the ones who keep talking. Breneman recommends a short weekly check-in. “I’m a big fan of the family calendar and the ‘weekly family meeting’ to take the temperature on how everyone is feeling and how things are going, academically and personally," Breneman says. "This is a great way to make sure the entire family is in the loop about what’s happening, where, and when. Usually, 20 minutes on a Sunday night is sufficient.”

She also urges parents to back their kids up if a job starts demanding too many hours, and coach teens on how to speak up for themselves with an employer.

Alden says the secret to keeping communication healthy is “using curiosity instead of criticism and asking questions such as ‘what feels the hardest right now?’ or ‘what type of support do you need from me?’” She also says that “keeping expectations realistic and having shared goals can help build a healthy and light environment for communicating.”

When families treat these talks as team check-ins, rather than lectures, teens are more likely to listen and respond.

Working while in school can be both a challenge and a gift. Teens gain confidence, responsibility, and money management skills, but only if their schedules are balanced and their stress levels stay in check. With steady support and open conversations, families can help teens enjoy the best of both worlds.

And when it comes to practicing money management, Greenlight gives teens a safe place to learn how to budget, save, and spend responsibly, skills they’ll carry with them long after their part-time jobs are done.

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