How to be popular: A healthy approach for kids

Navigating the social scene can be a tricky task for kids, especially when it comes to popularity. But, what does it mean to be popular? And how can it affect your child's life? Let's explore.

Unpacking the concept of popularity

Popularity isn't just about having the most friends or being liked by everyone. It's about being respected and admired for who you are. It's about being confident in yourself and having a positive influence on those around you.

Unfortunately, many kids equate popularity with fitting in or conforming to societal standards. They may feel pressure to dress a certain way, act a certain way, or possess certain material things to be liked by their peers. Ultimately, this can lead to feelings of insecurity and losing their own identity.

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The healthy path to “popularity”

If your child is focused on how to be popular, try to guide them toward a more authentic definition of what that means. Rather than looking or dressing a certain way or being part of a particular group, a person can be popular for being kind, helpful, talented, and unique. If your child wants more friends, steer them toward quality vs. quantity. You want good friends who like you for your authentic self and share similar interests and values. If your child asks you how to be popular, here are a few healthy tips you can share: 

Be authentic

Encourage your child to stay true to themselves and not try to fit into a certain mold just to please others. Help them understand the importance of embracing their unique qualities and expressing their true selves. It’s about finding their people, not people they have to change themselves for. 

Include others

By definition, popular people are liked by many. We can all expand our friend groups by including other people. Suggest they make an extra effort to reach out to other kids, include them in their activities and groups, and make everyone feel welcome. Encourage your child to be kind, compassionate, and inclusive toward others. Teach them the value of empathy and the power of making others feel seen and valued, which can invite the same in return.

Be confident

Confidence is attractive! People can sense self-confidence and are drawn to it like moths to flame. Encourage your child to believe in themselves and their abilities. Help them build self-esteem by acknowledging their strengths, celebrating their achievements, and supporting them in their endeavors. Others will notice! 

Cultivate genuine relationships

Help your child understand the importance of cultivating genuine friendships, rather than just seeking popularity for the sake of it. Encourage them to prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to friendships and to invest in relationships built on trust, respect, and mutual support. Those are the friendships that can last lifetimes. 

Stay true to your values

It's important for kids to stick to their values and not compromise them just for popularity. Encourage your child to stand up for what they believe in, even if it means going against the crowd. Teach them the importance of integrity and staying true to themselves, no matter what. Staying true to your values can also attract other like-minded friends. 

Embrace individuality

Help your child embrace their individuality and celebrate their unique qualities. Encourage them to explore their interests, pursue their passions, and express themselves authentically. Teach them that true popularity comes from being genuine and embracing their own identity.

Being popular is not the ultimate goal in life. It might feel like them, but it’s a short-term solution that doesn’t solve what they really want: To be appreciated for who they are. Encourage your child to focus on being themselves and cultivating meaningful relationships, rather than seeking popularity. Remind them that true popularity comes from being confident and authentic. Focus on building strong self-esteem and healthy relationships with others. 

Get more parenting and family tips at the Greenlight Learning Center, full of helpful guides and expert advice on living your best life.