Peer pressure in teenagers: What it is and how to handle it
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Peer pressure is common in our society, even among adults. Peer pressure in teenagers, however, tends to worry parents more because of how vulnerable and impressionable teens are at this stage of their lives. It's normal for teens to be influenced by their friends, but their parents can help them stay true to themselves.
Whether you want to help your kids stand up for themselves or you're curious about how peer pressure may impact your teen's life in the near future, this guide will help you spot peer pressure in teenage life and provide some tools for navigating it.
What is peer pressure?
Simply put, peer pressure is any type of influence from members of someone's peer group. Peer pressure is most common in adolescence, starting as young as age 10 and lasting through junior high and high school.
Who are your teen's peers?
Your teen's peers are the people they hang out with — their friends or friends of friends with whom they socialize. They could also be classmates, teammates, or members of the same club.
The role of social acceptance
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We all have a human need to be accepted by our peers. It's a fundamental truth that we all want to belong to communities or tribes. At a young age, however, it's difficult to determine what you actually want from a tribe.
Types of peer pressure in teenage life
Peer pressure isn't always negative. It can have many impacts on a teenager's life, including on their mental health and academic performance. It can cause them to engage in risky behaviors, and it may lead them to isolate themselves from their family and certain friends. But it can also motivate and support teens, too.
Positive peer pressure
Peer pressure can also be a good thing. Your child’s friends might encourage them to join a sports team or try a new activity that they love. Friends can help friends solve problems, push them to seek help from others when they're struggling, or inspire them to do better in school. In fact, sometimes the best friends are ones who exert positive peer pressure. The strength of positive peer influence is a powerful thing.
Negative peer pressure
When you hear the term "peer pressure," you probably think of the negative connotation first. Negative peer pressure is the social influence that leads teens to engage in risky activities, like shoplifting, trespassing, or trying drugs and alcohol. A growing dependence on their peers can lead to bigger mistakes when your child is trying to fit in with the rest of the group.
Factors influencing peer pressure
There are a number of factors that influence peer pressure, and knowing them can help you spot peer pressure in teenagers early.
Social dynamics among peers
Friend groups have hierarchies, just like businesses and governments. Keep an eye on the social dynamics of your child’s friend group.
Does the group typically do what one person wants to do? Is there a natural leader whom everybody agrees with? The effects of peer pressure can sometimes come from just a single charismatic person with main-character energy, so it's important to get to know your teen's friends.
Moreover, if your teen starts hanging out with a new group or leaves old friends behind, it might be a sign that they're succumbing to peer pressure. It may not be a bad thing, but it's worth checking in with your child about it.
Individual confidence levels
Most teens experience self-consciousness or have dips in self-esteem from time to time — even the most confident kids. Teens face a lot of pressure today, and they're frequently comparing themselves to their peers. That, in itself, is a form of passive, sometimes unconscious, peer pressure.
If you notice your child suddenly questioning who they are or isolating themselves from their friends or family, it may be a sign that they're experiencing the effects of peer pressure.
Strategies and tips for parents to address peer pressure
Noticing that peer pressure is happening is the first step. These strategies can help your kid avoid the negative impacts of peer pressure.
Open communication
They say honesty is the best policy for a good reason. Always being honest with your teen and making sure they know they can talk to you about anything is crucial to dealing with social pressure.
Don't be afraid to ask them questions they might not know how to approach you about. If you're always getting a one-word response when you ask how their day was, start asking more specific questions about their friends, activities, teachers, and classes.
Nurturing individuality and confidence
Your child is unique. Always nurture the things that make them different from others and express your love and support for the young adult they're becoming. They need to know you believe in them so they can believe in themselves. Using positive affirmations for kids will help build up their confidence.
Setting clear boundaries
Kids need boundaries. It's how they learn right from wrong and how to meet the expectations they'll face in the real world. But the boundaries must be clear and enforced. Once you start bending the rules, they will too.
Encouraging critical thinking
Even smart kids don't always think things through. You're not going to be looking over your teen’s shoulder every time they're presented with a risky choice. You can't make the decision for them, but you can encourage them to always think through what might happen if they make a certain decision.
Don't just tell them to think about the worst possible consequences; encourage them to understand the difference between one bad choice and habitual bad choices.
Building resilience
Everybody makes mistakes. Teens need to understand it's OK to mess up and it's OK to be who they are. Help them build resilience to peer pressure by expressing trust in them, giving them responsibility, and teaching them how to assess their own mistakes. After all, they are their own best defense against peer pressure.
Learn more on how to guide your teen's development
Want to keep helping your teen grow into an awesome adult? Check out the Greenlight Learning Center for more ideas about kids, money, and parenting.
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