Pester power: What is it and how do you deal with it?

You're at the mall, and suddenly, your child pulls on your arm and points at a beautiful new bike. Its shiny spokes light up and it even has a little horn that plays a tune whenever you tap it. The problem? Your child wants it now, and you're pretty sure the crocodile tears will start flowing quickly if you say no.

Look out, your child has a case of pester power.

What is pester power and why do kids do it?

Pester power is a non-medical syndrome familiar to parents worldwide. It happens when a child sees something they want and does everything they can to convince you to buy it for them. Kids may also use pester power for non-material wants, like staying up past their bedtime. You'll know your child is under the influence of pester power when you see these symptoms:

• Nagging 🙄

• Pleading 🙏

• Bargaining 🤝

• Tantrums 😤

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Set kids up for success.

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Sometimes pester power occurs when a child wants to do something and you don't immediately allow it. For example, they might want to play with friends when there's homework to do or stay up late to watch a movie. It can also happen when your child pressures you into buying things. This persistent nagging can get out of control and become costly.

In other words, pester power pays off (sometimes literally) — unless you put a stop to it.

5 tips to deal with your child's pressure to buy things

If your child's behaviors are becoming too much to handle, it's time to take back control. Try implementing a few boundaries to curb their actions and help them understand the value of money. 

1. Talk to your kids about advertising and marketing tactics

Marketers know how instrumental kids can be in family purchase decisions, so they leverage their advertising to influence them. Your kids will see ads for popular toys and other items on the platforms they frequent, including social media, video streaming, and TV. Those ads can be a powerful pull on your child's imagination and lead to pestering for the latest and greatest toy or trend.

Appeal to your child's logic by explaining the basics of pester marketing. Sit down together and watch a toy advertisement. Then talk about the different components in the ad — colors, words, and emotions. You don't need to dive too deep into the details, but explain how the components tie together to use the power of kids to influence family purchases.

When kids understand that the purpose of an ad is to generate sales, they'll begin to understand they don't need every item they see. And hopefully, they'll pester you a little less.

2. Set clear boundaries and expectations

Another technique you can pull out of your parenting arsenal is to set a few rules about money requests. Talk to your child about boundaries and the behaviors you expect. For example, if you’re going to the grocery store, you might set expectations ahead of time. Maybe that means setting a money limit or buying on what’s on your list. By doing so, you set a clear boundary that you won't be buying anything extra that day.

Kids who understand your boundaries are less likely to ask you to buy things. Hopefully, that leads to fewer outbursts when you’re at the store.

3. Educate your kids about personal finances

You can’t expect kids to be experts, but you can take opportunities to teach them about money. Look at pester power as a teachable moment. 

Start by discussing the difference between needs and wants. Share some of the things you pay for to provide a safe living environment. Then, talk about things you want but can't pay for right now, like a vacation or a new pair of shoes. Explain how you save and work for the things you want so you can eventually buy them. 

You don't need to go in-depth, especially if your child is very young. However, discussing basic money concepts can help them understand why you can't pull out your wallet whenever they ask you to. 

4. Establish a reward system around chores

Kids love a challenge — and they really love it if it includes a reward. Try connecting what kids want to a few household tasks. Maybe you’ll commit to buying them a favorite candy next time you go grocery shopping if they pick up their toys, or reward them with a few dollars for doing the dishes after dinner. 

Some parents tie weekly allowance to chores, which can help kids learn the value of work and see the tangible rewards. You can assign each task a dollar value, and when your child completes it, you reward them with money they can use on certain things they want. 

Giving your child the opportunity to earn funds also helps relieve you from paying for everything and teaches them the value of work. 

5. Communicate regularly and be consistent with ground rules

Kids can easily fall back into unhealthy pester power habits if you don't stick to your boundaries. Refuse to let your kids nag you, and remind them of what you talked about: pester power advertising, shopping expectations, needs vs. wants, and how to save for the things they want. 

Your child will eventually give up when you remain consistent and refuse to give in to nagging pester power behaviors. They'll see their begging and pleading doesn't move you. Even better, they may realize the power of marketing to kids and stop responding to flashy ads that appeal to them. And if they see something they have to have, you can encourage them to save up for it, just like you do when there's something you want.

Discover how Greenlight can help

Working through pester power can be a great learning experience for you and your child. It's an opportunity for you to set a few boundaries and teach your kids about money. Plus, they'll benefit from learning about pester power marketing and how to work for what they want. 

If you're ready to kick pester power to the curb and teach your kids the art of earning and saving, try Greenlight's chores and allowance app. You can set up a simple chore schedule for your kids to follow and reward them with an allowance for future goals. It's simple to use and teaches kids all about responsibility and savings.