What age should kids get a phone? How to know they're ready

The first phone is a big milestone, but if you’re a parent, it can be hard to know when your child is ready for the responsibility. While a phone can be helpful when used correctly, it can also become a significant distraction to a child. There’s no universal “right age” for a child to get a phone. It depends on the child, not just the number.

What age do most kids get their first phone?

The typical age that most kids get their first phone is around 10–12. The Academy of Pediatrics suggests between 12 and 13 is a good age. While some experts suggest the best age is a bit older, there are compelling reasons to consider giving your younger child a phone.

Younger kids: Start at 9 years old

Tamara Listinsky, a licensed clinical professional counselor in Nevada said, “A good age for kids to get a phone is nine.” Why? At this age, parents can still set and enforce rules without the difficult pushback an older child might have, are more accepting of parental support, and haven’t quite entered the “know everything” stage, she explains.

Listinsky said, “This is also the age where parents start letting kids hang out with friends without parental supervision. Parents can feel their kids are safe, while kids can learn valuable life lessons.”

Older kids: At least 16 years old

Dr. Rebecca Weksner, a pediatric psychologist licensed in Massachusetts, suggests children be at least 16 before getting a phone. “There is well documented risk for kids who are given personal devices (like a phone or smart watch) at early ages,” she said.

“There are really no reasons to give any kid under the age of 14 a phone. If parents feel they must, they have a responsibility to remove and block everything other than calls and text messaging to help mitigate the risks of early access to technology,” she said.

How to know if your child is ready for a phone

Not all kids are ready for a phone at the same time. Everyone matures at different rates, so the right age to get a phone may differ even between siblings in the same family. Some of the most important factors to consider include the following.

1. Emotional and social maturity

Ask: Can they handle disappointment without a major meltdown?

Dr. Caitlin Artiaga, PhD, a California-based licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), advised that kids should, “… demonstrate that they are able to manage limitations without having a significant negative emotional response.”

She explained, “They must be willing to share information with you regarding online activities, conflicts with peers, or making a mistake.”

Ask: Do they think before they act, or are they impulsive in social situations?

Matthew Bernarda, an LMFT in California, said, “A phone in the hands of a child who is not emotionally ready for it is very dangerous. Social networks, communication and constantly available information require a level of emotional intelligence that develops gradually.

He explained that cyberbullying and comparing themselves to peers creates serious consequences for kids that are difficult to address later when they grow up.

2. Responsibility benchmarks

Ask: Are they able to consistently not lose their belongings?

If they’re still forgetting their lunch box at school and their backpack at home regularly, they might forget a cell phone just as easily.

Ask: Do they follow through on homework and chores without constant reminders?

Consider maturity markers such as the ability to complete chores and homework without complaining or having to be prodded.

3. Ability to follow rules and handle consequences

Ask: When you set a limit (e.g., no screens after 9pm), do they respect it?

Claire Law, a psychotherapist and legal contributor at phone agreement — wait, strike that — Claire Law, a psychotherapist and legal contributor at Custody X Change, said parents should consider the kid’s ability to regulate themselves, especially when it comes to boundaries and tolerance of boredom.

In particular, whether the child can stop an activity without an argument, can spend some time being bored without immediately resorting to any stimulation, and can always stick to previously discussed rules are good indicators, she explained.

Ask: Do they have a track record of being honest with you when they break a rule or something goes wrong?

Being able to admit their mistakes is a sign of maturity and shows you can trust them to take responsibility. Acknowledging their mistake and accepting the consequences without deflecting blame are good indicators of your child being able to handle a phone.

4. Communication skills

Ask: Can they come to you when something upsets or confuses them, rather than hiding it?

If a child is secretive or hesitant to share feelings with you, communication should be worked on before having a phone, since a phone could exacerbate these issues.

Ask: Have you had open conversations about online safety, and do they engage genuinely, not just nod along?

Kids of any age need to understand how to be safe on the internet, but it’s even more crucial when they have a phone. Do they know how to detect internet scams like phishing or ransomware? Do they understand how to avoid cyberbullying and report it when it happens?

Pros and cons of giving kids a phone early

Eventually, every kid should have a phone, but if you’re considering it when they’re 12 or younger, it’s an even heavier choice. There are pros to giving a young child a phone, but there can be drawbacks, too.

Pros

• Ease of communication: It helps parents and kids to reach each other more easily. That’s especially important for young kids who may not have the same routine to get to and from school and activities every day.

• Safety: Parental controls can help alert you of inappropriate content or search queries to help keep them safe online. Greenlight's Infinity app lets you track locations, set up SOS and 911 alerts, and even get driving reports on your kids without them needing a phone.††

• Builds responsibility: The earlier a kid gets a phone, the earlier they can get hands-on experience with a big responsibility.

Cons

• Screen time: Too much screen time affects sleep, focus, and development, but limiting screen time can be a constant issue for families. While parental controls can allow you to set limits on how much a kid uses a phone, there will probably still be some lively discussions.

• Distractions: Every adult knows how distracting a smartphone can be. It can be even more so for kids who have fewer responsibilities, especially if they’re struggling to keep an interest in school.

• Online risks: From online predators to money scams and online bullying, there are many risks on the internet that can have a negative impact on a child’s mental health and physical well-being.

Advice and 5 tips from the experts

1. Create an agreement

Dr. Artiaga said, “In order to increase comfort levels of parents, I frequently suggest developing a phone agreement, which allows for collaboration among parents and children. It increases understanding of what to expect as far as screen time, privacy, sleep, safety, and communication.

2. Have a phone routine prior to bedtime

Dr. Artiaga also suggests having a cell-phone-free routine prior to bedtime. “As research continues to show, there is no evidence that unrestricted nighttime phone usage does not contribute to sleep disturbances and emotional difficulties in adolescents.”

3. Introduce the phone gradually

Claire Law said, “What usually helps parents make a decision easier and with less apprehension is the approach that involves gradually introducing a phone in a child’s life, starting with minimal use and setting specific conditions and limitations for its operation.”

4. Use parental control apps

Parental control apps help set limitations and expand use as warranted. However, “The best use I see is when their use is part of a shared trust and not only being used for monitoring,” said Law.

5. Don’t use a phone as punishment or reward

Kendall Maloof, an LMFT and clinical director at Eagle Creek Recovery in Idaho, said, “You need to start treating the phone as a tool you need to educate your child about. When you give a child a hairdryer, you will have to let them know they cannot use it in the shower. The same principle applies to the phone.”

Smart alternatives before giving your child a smartphone

If you don’t think your child is quite ready for a phone, there are alternatives. Some options include:

• Safety trackers: Greenlight offers a new safety tracker device so you know where your kids are, always. Greenlight Safe Kids offers real-time location updates, safe zone alerts, and an emergency SOS button.

• “Dumbphones”: Simplified communication devices like basic flip phones remove many of the online risks of smartphones. They accomplish the main need: keeping an open communication channel with kids.

Greenlight protects your family on the go

Ultimately, there isn’t a “right” or a “wrong” decision. Parents should choose to give their kids phones when it’s best for the family’s lifestyle and the kids are ready to handle the responsibility. You can always take steps to set rules for age-appropriate use.

With Greenlight Family Shield and Infinity plans, you can track kids’ locations and keep them safe while you teach them cashback and savings rewards through hands-on learning and real-world practice. For kids who aren’t ready for a phone, Greenlight’s GPS tracking device can tell you where they are when they aren’t with you.

††Requires mobile data or a WiFi connection, and access to sensory and motion data from cell phone to utilize safety features including family location sharing and driving alerts and reports. Messaging and data rates and other terms may apply.

The Greenlight Safe Family device, for Kids, Seniors, or Pets, requires the purchase of the device and a monthly data plan for connectivity. Existing Greenlight customers must be on Core, Max, Infinity or Family Shield plans to use the device. Device is not available for use with Select or Greenlight+Invest plans. See Terms for more details.