What to do if your older parent is being scammed

When you’re caring for a senior loved one*, the last thing you want is for someone to take advantage of their trust. But elder scams are more common than most people realize, and while they can start slowly, they can also escalate quickly. Whether it's a fake romance, a phony grandchild emergency, or someone manipulating legal documents, financial fraud can devastate older adults and their families.

If you think something’s off, here’s what to do and how to prevent it from happening again.

Recognizing the signs of elder fraud

Scams often happen slowly. A senior loved one* may become unusually private about a new “friend,” or routine transactions may no longer add up. Watch for:

• Unfamiliar charges or withdrawals from their accounts

• New secrecy around phone calls and emails, or “urgent” financial decisions

• Noticeable changes in mood, like anxiety, embarrassment, or social withdrawal

• Unexpected revisions to wills, powers of attorney, or other legal documents

• A surge of calls or messages (text or voice) from unknown numbers

One questionable sign may be nothing, but when several appear together, it’s time to look more closely and intervene, if necessary.

5 steps to take if you suspect a scam

If something doesn’t feel right, don’t wait. Take these steps to protect your parent and their finances.

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1. Talk to your parent with empathy

Share your concern without placing blame. “You can't approach this as a single conversation, and try to do everything at once," says Léonie Rosenstiel, MPH, author and president of Dayspring Resources. "It helps if you also confide in your elder… ‘Mom, I want you to know that I'm feeling fine, but my friend Brenda fainted last week, and they took her to the hospital. That made me think that I should be covered, just in case, so I filled out my power of attorney form, and I named John. Do you have one?’”

2. Gather as many details as possible

The more evidence you can compile, the faster banks and investigators can step in to help. Start by pulling together:

• Digital data. Save emails, screenshots of text messages, anything sent through social media, and caller ID logs. Take note of any phone numbers or email addresses used.

• Paper trail. Photocopy or scan bank statements, gift card receipts (front and back), money order stubs, wire transfer confirmations, or shipping labels.

• Timeline. Jot down when the first contact happened, how the scam progressed, and any dollar amounts mentioned. Small details (a nickname the scammer used, or the exact words) can help investigators make connections between cases.

Once you have the information, put digital copies in a shared Cloud folder so siblings or attorneys can view them without passing originals around.

3. Contact financial institutions

If money has been sent or withdrawn, it’s crucial to act fast. Call the bank or credit card company to report the incident and see if the transaction can be reversed. 

Michael J. Greenberg, an elder law attorney based in New York, recommends going further. “Set alerts for large withdrawals, implement daily transfer limits, and provide banks with copies of legal documents like powers of attorney or trust agreements that spell out dual-authorization requirements," he says. "These tools can help detect and stop a scam in real time—before the money leaves the account.”

4. Report the scam to authorities

File an official report with all the information you collected. This can help you get back lost money. It also creates a record that can help protect other families. Start with these agencies:

• Federal Trade Commission (FTC). Submit a claim at reportfraud.ftc.gov and save the case number for future reference.

• State Attorney General. Most offices offer an elder fraud form online.

• Local police department. Request an incident report. Many banks require it before issuing reimbursements.

• Adult Protective Services (APS). If your parent is still being pressured, APS can intervene quickly and coordinate additional support.

Depending on the details, you may also want to contact:

• The FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (ic3.gov) for online or cryptocurrency schemes

• U.S. Postal Inspection Service for mail-based fraud or sweepstakes letters

• Your parent’s phone carrier to trace robocalls and block persistent numbers

• The three credit bureaus (Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion) to place a credit freeze if personal data was exposed

5. Get legal advice

Every state has different rules around guardianship, conservatorship, and financial control. “Consult a legal expert to discover what rights you have," Rosenstiel says. "Some people are unpleasantly surprised to discover they will only have control if the elder has already been declared mentally incompetent and they are the guardian or conservator.”

6 types of scams that target older adults

Scammers use all kinds of tricks, but here are some of the most common ones to watch for:

1. Family emergency scams. These usually start with an urgent phone call or message from someone who is pretending to be a grandchild in desperate need. “These scams typically involve smaller sums… but the stakes can be emotionally devastating,” says Greenberg. 

2. Romance and affinity scams. These scams can occur over weeks or months and may involve requests to send money or obtain legal authority.

3. Government impersonation. Scammers pose as the IRS, Social Security, or Medicare, threatening jail time or fines if you don’t pay immediately.

4. Tech support scams. Pop-ups or calls that claim your parent’s device has been hacked and payment is required to fix it.

5. Investment or charity fraud. Someone pitches an investment that sounds too good to pass up, or a cause that really tugs at the heart.

6. Lottery or sweepstakes scams. A call or letter claims your parent has hit the jackpot, but there’s a catch: they need to pay fees or taxes upfront before collecting the prize. The winnings, of course, never come.

These scams are designed to trigger emotional responses and prompt rushed decisions. Slowing things down and double-checking any request for money or information is often enough to expose the lie. Staying alert and talking openly with your parent can stop a scam before it starts.

How to prevent future scams

Prevention isn’t just about locking things down; it’s about staying connected and proactive.

• Keep the conversation going. According to Rosenstiel, “Prevention is in the communication that is ongoing. You tell each other what's being done, who's doing it, and how you want it done.”

• Use legal tools. Greenberg advises: “One of the most effective ways to protect an elderly loved one is by setting up a trust… that requires two signatures for any disbursement.” Even without a trust, make sure you know who holds Power of Attorney and that the documents are up to date.

• Set up financial alerts and protections. Many banks offer transaction alerts or transfer limits. With Greenlight’s Family Shield tools**, you can receive real-time alerts about large transfers or suspicious activity***.

• Form a support system. Even if you don’t live nearby, you can coordinate care. Rosenstiel shared a story about an expat managing his mother’s dementia care from the UK: “He did it by having a trusted relative who was an attorney… and a group of his mother's faithful friends who visited her frequently and monitored her care.”

• Limit access points. Scam calls and spam mail are hard to eliminate, but you can block known scam numbers, use call screening tools from your phone carrier, and monitor mail and filter out junk regularly.

FAQ

My parent sent money via gift cards/wire transfer/cryptocurrency. Can it be recovered?

Usually, no. These methods of payment are nearly impossible to track or reverse. But reporting the scam is still important; it may help prevent others from being targeted.

What if my parent refuses to believe they’re being scammed or won’t stop sending money?

Try sharing things you’ve experienced yourself (like Rosenstiel’s “I named John on my Power of Attorney” script) to open the door to more honest conversations.

When should I consider legal intervention, like Power of Attorney or guardianship, to protect my parent’s finances?

If you notice your parent’s mental sharpness starting to change, it may be time to step in. Greenberg explains: “For elderly individuals who are no longer able to protect themselves due to cognitive decline, guardianship may become necessary. Though it involves court filings, expenses, and oversight, it can provide the legal authority needed to stop ongoing exploitation.”

My parent gets an overwhelming amount of scam calls and junk mail. How can we reduce the volume?

Start by enabling call blocking, registering on the Do Not Call list, and monitoring incoming mail.

Protect your senior loved ones from financial exploitation and fraud. Greenlight now offers fraud and scam protection for older adults. Try Greenlight Family Shield. 

*Loved ones refers to covered family members as defined in the policy i.e. supported adults for which you control or assist with their finances.

**Insurance offered by Acrisure, LLC is provided by ACE American Insurance Company and its U.S.-based Chubb underwriting company affiliates. chubb.com. Additional details can be viewed here. See here for policy information. Insurance Products are not insured by the FDIC or any federal government agency and are not a deposit or other obligation of, or guaranteed by, any bank or bank affiliate.

***Premium monitoring services are offered by Experian.